David replied, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept because I thought, ‘Perhaps the Lord will show pity and the child will live.’ But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Am I able to bring him back at this point? I will go to him, but he cannot return to me!”

(2 Samuel 12:22)

If you are reading a devotion on grief, then you have probably experienced the death of a loved one; and you have most likely prayed for their healing. I can also imagine; you didn’t just pray once or twice. In fact, you probably prayed multiple times and potentially over many years. I know. I prayed for many years for my sister to be healed from alcoholism. I didn’t just pray. I fasted and prayed. I dedicated seasons of Lent to her healing. I knocked, pounded, and begged God to heal my sister, intervene for her recovery, and lead her to Jesus. When she died, I felt the finality to my many unanswered prayers. God had spoken and his answer was “No.” I grieved the reality that the incense of my prayers dissipated past God’s throne room seemingly unheard.

My experience is not unique, nor is this my only encounter with unanswered prayers. Like many of you, I have many unanswered prayers of grief and loss.  Thus, I ask, “Can we change God’s mind when we pray?” Throughout scripture we see how God answered prayers for healing; as well as verses teaching believers to pray.

And it happened that the father of Publius was lying in bed afflicted with recurrent fever and dysentery; and Paul went in to see him and after he had prayed, he laid his hands on him and healed him. (Acts 28:8)

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (James 5:16)

“Can we change God’s mind when we pray?”

Scripture also speaks of times when God allowed illness, diseases, and suffering occurs.

 If we have died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him;

if we deny him, he also will deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful—he cannot deny himself.” (2 Timothy 2:11-13).

During these times, believers are encouraged to persevere and endure with hope and strength (Romans 5:4). So, should we pray for loved ones? Should we look for healing? Seek the miraculous? The answer is “Yes.”

Here are my personal insights into the grief of unanswered prayers:

1. Continue to pray for healing (James 5:13-15).
   1. It demonstrates our belief that God can change the situation. He is the Great Physician and has the power over health and illness, disease and death. (John 5:26).
   1. Prayer is not about the answers. It is about a relationship with the Divine who loves us and loves our loved ones. (Philippians 1:9-11).
2. God knows the bigger picture
   1. As Sovereign of the universe God knows the yesterday, today and tomorrow. (Hebrews 13:8).
   1. Expect God to do other miracles besides healings and cures. One miracle is when others come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. (John 11:25), or a closer relationship with Him through the suffering and grief.
3. God is working through you and your loved one.
   1. I am on this side of many unanswered prayers and see the benefit of the “no’s” and trust God with the “no’s” I don’t understand (Matthew 7:7-11).

I will leave you with a quote from Philip Yancey from the chapter Unanswered Prayer: Living with the Mystery,

“…more convinced than ever that the only final solution to unanswered prayer is Paul’s explanation to the Corinthians: ‘For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall know even as also I am known.’ No human being, no matter how wise or how spiritual can interpret the ways of God, explain why one miracle and not another, why an apparent intervention here and not there. Along with the apostle Paul, we can only wait, and trust.” (*p. 247)

Prayer:

Father God, I confess I waver in my faith and trust when my prayers for healing go unanswered. Help me to accept your wisdom and providence in my life and in the life of my loved ones. Amen.

Reflections:

Do you have unanswered prayers for a loved one? Are you still praying and hoping for healing for a loved one? Whatever your experience and current prayer life, write out prayers that have gone unanswered. Be honest and intimate and include the pain and sorrow your waiting has or is causing. Psalm 13 is a plea to God to hear the author’s prayer. Use it as a template to cry out to the Lord.

Shane & Shane put Psalm 13 to song.

Resources:

*Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference by Philip Yancey explores prayer from both a personal and theological base. Philip’s book Where is God When It Hurts? is a classic that promises to provide comfort and a healing guide for coping with hard times. Purchase both from Christian Book Distributors .