Month: August 2014

A Happy Birthday Letter!

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Birthdays of our deceased loved ones can be difficult days. As a nurse, I have encouraged family members to plan on birthdays as “sucky” days. Now, that I am more than a casual observer or educated professional, planning can help, but it still sucks.  So what can we do? Well, one of the things I do is write my sister a letter. I mean literally a letter. For those of you who are younger than 30 or so, I take out a piece of paper (nothing fancy) and a cool pen (I am totally into pens!) and hand write a letter. No texting, no emails, no facebook postings–a letter that normally would go through the post office or snail mail. Sounds crazy and a bit sad, but I like it!

Part of the reason I like it, is that I feel like I am updating my sister on everything that is going on. I have read historical fiction/non-fiction books that include excerpts of a letter from a daughter who came out west in the 1800’s. Or letters from sons written during the Civil War.  The letters give such a real-life, first person account.

This is how I feel. I am reaching across the expanse of time and space to tell Debbie what is going on.  For example, this year’s birthday letter included a note about writing the memoir. I shared how I hoped she will like it and that it will honor her memory. I know, I know it sounds psycho! But, I don’t care. When I am writing this letter I feel like I am talking to her and she is close to me. Also, I don’t feel like she is missing events that are happening in our family’s life. I update her on how our parents are doing and what her sons are doing.  I also update her on our grief. How much I miss her and the problem my mom had choosing a headstone.

Once the letter is completed, I fold it up and put it in an envelope and mark it–Happy Birthday, 2014. I have also written a letter for Christmas and include a Christmas family photo.  In ten or twenty years from now, I envision opening the letters up and reading through all the life events she has missed.  It sounds heartbreaking and I am sure it will be; YET, it will be better to have a record of all I have shared with her. Instead of the alternative–which is ZIPPO–as if she wasn’t my sister anymore.

Dear Debbie,

Dear Debbie,

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NCFI Cares: CPR for Hope–Breathing!

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Breathing is necessary for physical life. Nurses and other health care providers may insert a tube into the lungs to facilitate breathing, and/or attach a ventilator or breathing machine that will “breathe” for a patient. Another intervention for someone not breathing is to have a nurse place their mouth over a patient’s mouth to blow air into the patient. These are all extreme measures that help the patient breathe when they are unable to meet their own oxygen requirements.

Spiritual breathing is also important to sustain life. Jesus, meeting with disciples after the resurrection, breathes on them saying, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” (John 20:22).  This holy intervention brought the eternal Holy Spirit into their spirit. From this point forward, the disciples are focused on continuing the ministry of the new covenant.

At times we need a renewal of the Holy Spirit to invigorate our calling in Jesus. Just as CPR has another person breath physically for a patient, we need to breathe spiritually for a fellow brother or sister. We can reach out to one another with prayer and various social connections. Whether it is through email, text or a phone call a simple inspiring message can bring a freshness into someone else’s life. So send the “breath of the Spirit” to someone who needs a boost of hope!

“Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:5)

Grace & Peace,

Carrie

p.s. Let’s pray for our brothers and sisters around the word who experience hardships and violence because of their faithfulness to Jesus (Ephesians 5:18)

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My Sister’s Green Chili continued

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Check out part one of My Sister’s Green Chili…

Well, I never did find the green chili powder, so my daughter and I gave the recipe a whirl without substitutions. I am glad we did.  The aroma of roasted pork fused with oregano and garlic with hints of green chilies wafted throughout the kitchen.  It was an amazing warm stew-type dish. A bowl of the hearty meat mixture went well with soft corn tortillas and queso fresco cheese.

When I had completed the cooking, the eating and was driving home with my share of the bounty; I felt disappointed. I had envisioned the experience as one of fun and laughter, like many family cooking adventures. I went into this project with the full knowledge that I was dancing around the grief process and could get burned.  Anyone in the grief process knows what I mean. You crack your heart open and start stirring the pot of feelings, memories, etc and you are going to get singed by the rawness.

As the emotional event percolated from my soul through my mind, I realized I was experiencing a letdown of sorts.  I couldn’t reinvent a day and experience my sister. Yes, I could take her favorite recipe and think about it and talk about her, but in the end she wasn’t here to cook with. In my memoir,  I call it “yearning”. We do things to connect with the person who is no longer here. For the first time since her death, I was more disappointing then soothing. In some ways, it made me feel sadder and even more aware of the emptiness that she once occupied.

The craziness of grief is I will probably keep doing things to feel close to her. Reminisce with my mom; talk with her kids, and other activities that bring her back into my life. No matter how disappointing or fleeting it may be.

Hand approaches hot burner

Pray4Me

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Prayer Room in Taipai, Taiwan Airport

One of the most powerful and important things we do as humans is PRAY! I say humans for I have discovered that most people pray. Face it anytime we are facing devastating news, struggling with relationships, or diagnosed with an illness or disease, we pray! Prayer is especially important for Christians. It is the means in which we communicate with God. Not just to give him our to-do list, but he gives us his to-do list, as well.

Anyway, all this to say I want to pray for you!

  • I encourage you to submit a prayer request in one of the following ways:
    • you can add a comment to this blog
    • follow me @carriedameron #pray4me
    • Fill out the form below–and I will receive an email

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Either way I will pray for you. Just a word about my prayers. I am a Christian, thus I will pray to God and use verses from the Bible as part of my prayers for you.

  • I have also created a category entitled “PRAYER” so if you want to learn more about prayer, especially as related to nursing or health care.

NCFI Cares: Hope’s Not Dead!

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Hope’s not Dead!

As I was thinking of our living hope (1 Peter 1:3), I was reminded of a modern Christian song and movie entitled God’s Not Dead. I wanted to replace the word of the song with “Hope’s not dead, it is surely alive.” For, sometimes we live as if our hope is dead.  Is your hope breathing independently with a strong pulse? Some of us are in desperate need of hope CPR (cardiac pulmonary resuscitation). These lifesaving procedures have a healthy, skilled person breath and provide chest compression for a patient who is technically dead.  And at times, we need assistance with our breathing and pulse so we can keep our hope alive.

How do we know if our hope is dead—let’s check our breathing and our pulse.  Here are a few questions to think about: Are you a hopeful person? In other words, do you look forward to what Jesus will do in your life today? Are you excited about how the Holy Spirit is moving in your ministry, job, or community? OR Are you feeling dragged down by the concerns and stress of today? Does the thought of tomorrow bring more stress upon your life? These questions are based on the biblical meaning of the word hope—“anticipation or confident expectation.”

I encourage you this week to take time in prayer and check if your hope is breathing and has a pulse.  Next time we will look at hope saving procedures to jump-start our living hope!

Blessings,

Carrie

Therefore my heart was glad and my tongue rejoiced; my body also will live in hope. Acts 2:26

p.s. Please pray for our brothers and sisters in Liberia, Sierra Leone, Guinea, and Nigeria fighting the Ebola virus. May the Lord protect the health care providers and bring healing to the patients and families. (Ephesians 6:18)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghC3gqNQJPQ This is the YouTube video of God’s Not Dead! by Newsboys.

 

My Sister’s Green Chili

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I am planning on cooking my sister’s famous Green Chili.  Let’s clarify, famous in regards to our family and friends; not famous as in tv show or cookbook.  At her grave site service which was less formal and with mostly family, everyone raved about Debbie’s green chili.  We were pleased when her husband distributed copies of the recipe.

I have fond memories of chatting with her on the phone, while she was busy cooking her green chili for her office Christmas party.  She would be cooking until 2 or 3 in the morning chopping and cooking.  Many things stand out in my mind about this memory. First, that she would be up all night cooking. I am not a late night person, like she was. I am the one who gets up at 4 in the morning to get a head start. Second, her secret ingredient is green chili powder. Even though I live in California, I am having a hard time finding it.

Cooking her green chili is going to be a challenge. The recipe is just list of ingredients no directions and lots of scribbles. My first challenge is to take what I have and somehow put it together. Maybe now is the time to confess. I have never had her green chili before. I have heard how great it was from our family and her friends.  But, have never actually tasted it. We would see each other maybe every year or two and our time together did not include cooking her chili. Instead we would have summer picnics and barbeques.

Another challenge is her tweaking. Debbie, had taken the recipe originally given to her by a neighbor and had been modifying parts of the recipe for the best results. Not that the original wasn’t outstanding, for I am sure it was. But, my sister and I are a family of tweakers. Not like meth users. Instead we take a recipe and say, “Hmm, let’s make changes. Spice it up a bit; add more onions and most definitely more garlic!”

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My sister is not only a tweaker, but the recipe is technically in her head. Yes, many of us are guilty of having an outline of a recipe, but the true details and nuances stuck in the gray matter.  So here I am. I have most of the ingredients and the pork is cooking away. Tomorrow, I am going over to my daughter’s house. We both love to cook and I am anxious to see how Debbie’s famous green chili turns out. We have her scribbles with no clear directions of what to do after we shred the pork, but we will do our best. Check back and I will share with you the results.

Read the continuation…