What does cinnamon candy & cheese slices have in common?

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One thing about memories is you can’t control when they will pop into your mind. This is especially true for memories of our departed loved ones. A recent example illustrates this point. I love all kinds of cinnamon candy and the hotter the better.  I recently discovered that my husband loves them too, as he was eating two and three cinnamon breath mints at a time. WOW! That’s even too hot for me!

We were reminiscing about the different cinnamon candy and treats that were available when we were in high school—remember the cinnamon toothpicks! As we chatted about the hottest cinnamon candy and comparing the intensities of Jolly Ranchers to cinnamon bears, red hots and hot tamales, I remembered a funny event involving Debbie and I.

About 18 or so years ago my husband and I, with our two daughters drove back to Wyoming to visit my sister. We had pulled an all-nighter, peddle-to-the ground road trip driving straight through from California. We arrived at Debbie’s house at about 4 am and immediately crashed into bed.cinnamon jolly ranchers

When I woke up a few hours later, I went looking for my purse. I found it by the front door,where upon my exhausted arrival I had dropped it. Next to my purse was Debbie’s purse similar in style. Upon closer inspection both purses contained a bag of cinnamon Jolly Ranchers.  It was hilarious! Living so far apart and not being able to “spend time”together we were both amazed by our similar tastes in styles and snacks!

As I was learning about my husband’s love for cinnamon candy, this heart-warming memory surfaced. How sisters separated by years and miles, were seemingly genetically engineered to love cinnamon Jolly Ranchers. Even now, the memory brings a smile to my face.

The sliced cheese is an even older story that my mom loves to tell. When Debbie was about 2 years old, she loved those individually wrapped American cheese slices. Maybe love is not a strong enough word—she craved those little slices. One day, she walked over to the neighbors, politely knocked on their door and asked for a slice of cheese.  My mother had visited the neighbor in the past who had kindly given my sister a slice of cheese. Well, in a 2 year old’s mind, why not go back for more!

Both of these sweet memories of my sister came into my heart and mind this week; and I feel blessed. The main reason these are joyful memories is I am at a good place in my grief, so that missing her stirs happy moments. Thank you, Lord!

Music Therapy

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Music is therapy. Familiar hymns resonate comfort for Alzheimer’s patients void of recent memory; and perfect lyrics sing of hope and grace to the downtrodden. We feel our spirits lift with a song that gets our toes-a-tapping or even our hips-a-wiggling. Sounds goofy and it can be. For music has the ability to change our mood and brighten our day.

Christian music has always been part of my faith journey, and especially during challenging time.  When I was feeling alone and afraid, the right hymn or contemporary Christian song would touch my heart and remind me of God’s love and security.  Recently, the Lord used music and lyrics to reach through my grief and speak comfort, peace, and joy when I needed it most.

All of this to give a plug for another venue for healing music. Through my involvement in West Coast Christian Writers Conference I had the pleasure of meeting Wanda with His Healing Love Ministries. The Lord uses her talents to write lyrics and music to not only soothe the soul, but to bring healing into the deep recess of our hearts and minds

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His Healing Love: The Collection

NCFI Cares: Job Well Done!

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“Before God the Father, we remember your work of faith, labor of love and your steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 1:3). These are the words of Apostle Paul to the believers in Thessalonica. Paul commended his brothers and sisters for their faithfulness to the gospel message. Paul says, “Job well done!”  Not only did Paul say, “Good job.” He also made the proclamation before God, “God as my witness, the Thessalonians are great Christians!” In his letter, Paul recognized the believers’ commitment to living out the teachings of Christ Jesus. The believers faithfully served one another and Christ through acts of grace and charity (James 2:14-19; Matt 25:35-59).

As Christian nurses committed to serving Jesus Christ, NCFI leaders, staff, and fellow nurses commend you. We know of your work of faith in staying strong in Christ. Your labor of love to patients and families, as well as to your fellow colleagues. We also recognize the steadfastness of your hope. A hope that developed from yesterday, provides strength for today, and guides you in confidence for tomorrow.  We remember you in our hearts and prayers, and confess you to our God that you are great Christian Nurses! Job well done!

Take a moment and tell a colleague–Good Job

A Happy Birthday Letter!

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Birthdays of our deceased loved ones can be difficult days. As a nurse, I have encouraged family members to plan on birthdays as “sucky” days. Now, that I am more than a casual observer or educated professional, planning can help, but it still sucks.  So what can we do? Well, one of the things I do is write my sister a letter. I mean literally a letter. For those of you who are younger than 30 or so, I take out a piece of paper (nothing fancy) and a cool pen (I am totally into pens!) and hand write a letter. No texting, no emails, no facebook postings–a letter that normally would go through the post office or snail mail. Sounds crazy and a bit sad, but I like it!

Part of the reason I like it, is that I feel like I am updating my sister on everything that is going on. I have read historical fiction/non-fiction books that include excerpts of a letter from a daughter who came out west in the 1800’s. Or letters from sons written during the Civil War.  The letters give such a real-life, first person account.

This is how I feel. I am reaching across the expanse of time and space to tell Debbie what is going on.  For example, this year’s birthday letter included a note about writing the memoir. I shared how I hoped she will like it and that it will honor her memory. I know, I know it sounds psycho! But, I don’t care. When I am writing this letter I feel like I am talking to her and she is close to me. Also, I don’t feel like she is missing events that are happening in our family’s life. I update her on how our parents are doing and what her sons are doing.  I also update her on our grief. How much I miss her and the problem my mom had choosing a headstone.

Once the letter is completed, I fold it up and put it in an envelope and mark it–Happy Birthday, 2014. I have also written a letter for Christmas and include a Christmas family photo.  In ten or twenty years from now, I envision opening the letters up and reading through all the life events she has missed.  It sounds heartbreaking and I am sure it will be; YET, it will be better to have a record of all I have shared with her. Instead of the alternative–which is ZIPPO–as if she wasn’t my sister anymore.

Dear Debbie,

Dear Debbie,

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NCFI Cares: CPR for Hope–Breathing!

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Breathing is necessary for physical life. Nurses and other health care providers may insert a tube into the lungs to facilitate breathing, and/or attach a ventilator or breathing machine that will “breathe” for a patient. Another intervention for someone not breathing is to have a nurse place their mouth over a patient’s mouth to blow air into the patient. These are all extreme measures that help the patient breathe when they are unable to meet their own oxygen requirements.

Spiritual breathing is also important to sustain life. Jesus, meeting with disciples after the resurrection, breathes on them saying, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” (John 20:22).  This holy intervention brought the eternal Holy Spirit into their spirit. From this point forward, the disciples are focused on continuing the ministry of the new covenant.

At times we need a renewal of the Holy Spirit to invigorate our calling in Jesus. Just as CPR has another person breath physically for a patient, we need to breathe spiritually for a fellow brother or sister. We can reach out to one another with prayer and various social connections. Whether it is through email, text or a phone call a simple inspiring message can bring a freshness into someone else’s life. So send the “breath of the Spirit” to someone who needs a boost of hope!

“Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:5)

Grace & Peace,

Carrie

p.s. Let’s pray for our brothers and sisters around the word who experience hardships and violence because of their faithfulness to Jesus (Ephesians 5:18)

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My Sister’s Green Chili continued

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Check out part one of My Sister’s Green Chili…

Well, I never did find the green chili powder, so my daughter and I gave the recipe a whirl without substitutions. I am glad we did.  The aroma of roasted pork fused with oregano and garlic with hints of green chilies wafted throughout the kitchen.  It was an amazing warm stew-type dish. A bowl of the hearty meat mixture went well with soft corn tortillas and queso fresco cheese.

When I had completed the cooking, the eating and was driving home with my share of the bounty; I felt disappointed. I had envisioned the experience as one of fun and laughter, like many family cooking adventures. I went into this project with the full knowledge that I was dancing around the grief process and could get burned.  Anyone in the grief process knows what I mean. You crack your heart open and start stirring the pot of feelings, memories, etc and you are going to get singed by the rawness.

As the emotional event percolated from my soul through my mind, I realized I was experiencing a letdown of sorts.  I couldn’t reinvent a day and experience my sister. Yes, I could take her favorite recipe and think about it and talk about her, but in the end she wasn’t here to cook with. In my memoir,  I call it “yearning”. We do things to connect with the person who is no longer here. For the first time since her death, I was more disappointing then soothing. In some ways, it made me feel sadder and even more aware of the emptiness that she once occupied.

The craziness of grief is I will probably keep doing things to feel close to her. Reminisce with my mom; talk with her kids, and other activities that bring her back into my life. No matter how disappointing or fleeting it may be.

Hand approaches hot burner

Pray4Me

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Prayer Room in Taipai, Taiwan Airport

One of the most powerful and important things we do as humans is PRAY! I say humans for I have discovered that most people pray. Face it anytime we are facing devastating news, struggling with relationships, or diagnosed with an illness or disease, we pray! Prayer is especially important for Christians. It is the means in which we communicate with God. Not just to give him our to-do list, but he gives us his to-do list, as well.

Anyway, all this to say I want to pray for you!

  • I encourage you to submit a prayer request in one of the following ways:
    • you can add a comment to this blog
    • follow me @carriedameron #pray4me
    • Fill out the form below–and I will receive an email

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Either way I will pray for you. Just a word about my prayers. I am a Christian, thus I will pray to God and use verses from the Bible as part of my prayers for you.

  • I have also created a category entitled “PRAYER” so if you want to learn more about prayer, especially as related to nursing or health care.

NCFI Cares: Hope’s Not Dead!

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Hope’s not Dead!

As I was thinking of our living hope (1 Peter 1:3), I was reminded of a modern Christian song and movie entitled God’s Not Dead. I wanted to replace the word of the song with “Hope’s not dead, it is surely alive.” For, sometimes we live as if our hope is dead.  Is your hope breathing independently with a strong pulse? Some of us are in desperate need of hope CPR (cardiac pulmonary resuscitation). These lifesaving procedures have a healthy, skilled person breath and provide chest compression for a patient who is technically dead.  And at times, we need assistance with our breathing and pulse so we can keep our hope alive.

How do we know if our hope is dead—let’s check our breathing and our pulse.  Here are a few questions to think about: Are you a hopeful person? In other words, do you look forward to what Jesus will do in your life today? Are you excited about how the Holy Spirit is moving in your ministry, job, or community? OR Are you feeling dragged down by the concerns and stress of today? Does the thought of tomorrow bring more stress upon your life? These questions are based on the biblical meaning of the word hope—“anticipation or confident expectation.”

I encourage you this week to take time in prayer and check if your hope is breathing and has a pulse.  Next time we will look at hope saving procedures to jump-start our living hope!

Blessings,

Carrie

Therefore my heart was glad and my tongue rejoiced; my body also will live in hope. Acts 2:26

p.s. Please pray for our brothers and sisters in Liberia, Sierra Leone, Guinea, and Nigeria fighting the Ebola virus. May the Lord protect the health care providers and bring healing to the patients and families. (Ephesians 6:18)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghC3gqNQJPQ This is the YouTube video of God’s Not Dead! by Newsboys.

 

My Sister’s Green Chili

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I am planning on cooking my sister’s famous Green Chili.  Let’s clarify, famous in regards to our family and friends; not famous as in tv show or cookbook.  At her grave site service which was less formal and with mostly family, everyone raved about Debbie’s green chili.  We were pleased when her husband distributed copies of the recipe.

I have fond memories of chatting with her on the phone, while she was busy cooking her green chili for her office Christmas party.  She would be cooking until 2 or 3 in the morning chopping and cooking.  Many things stand out in my mind about this memory. First, that she would be up all night cooking. I am not a late night person, like she was. I am the one who gets up at 4 in the morning to get a head start. Second, her secret ingredient is green chili powder. Even though I live in California, I am having a hard time finding it.

Cooking her green chili is going to be a challenge. The recipe is just list of ingredients no directions and lots of scribbles. My first challenge is to take what I have and somehow put it together. Maybe now is the time to confess. I have never had her green chili before. I have heard how great it was from our family and her friends.  But, have never actually tasted it. We would see each other maybe every year or two and our time together did not include cooking her chili. Instead we would have summer picnics and barbeques.

Another challenge is her tweaking. Debbie, had taken the recipe originally given to her by a neighbor and had been modifying parts of the recipe for the best results. Not that the original wasn’t outstanding, for I am sure it was. But, my sister and I are a family of tweakers. Not like meth users. Instead we take a recipe and say, “Hmm, let’s make changes. Spice it up a bit; add more onions and most definitely more garlic!”

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My sister is not only a tweaker, but the recipe is technically in her head. Yes, many of us are guilty of having an outline of a recipe, but the true details and nuances stuck in the gray matter.  So here I am. I have most of the ingredients and the pork is cooking away. Tomorrow, I am going over to my daughter’s house. We both love to cook and I am anxious to see how Debbie’s famous green chili turns out. We have her scribbles with no clear directions of what to do after we shred the pork, but we will do our best. Check back and I will share with you the results.

Read the continuation…

NCFI Cares: “Come Quickly, Lord”

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Our discussion of a heavenly hope and a place without sickness brings us closer to the end of this time—the return of Jesus Christ. This hope is based on the promises made by Jesus Christ to the disciples as recorded in the gospels—“Do not be troubled, I go to prepare a place for you and I will return to take you there to live with me” (John 14:1-3, Matthew 24:29–31). In Christian language we call this event, The Second Coming. Even though the timing of the event is unknown, we have a description of Jesus’ impending arrival:

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a shout of command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be suddenly caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord. (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17).

Just like modern day Christians, the believers during Paul’s time were asking, “When will Jesus return?” And like us, the wait seems endless. Especially when violence spreads through our countries and new diseases and plagues continue to inflict suffering and pain upon us and our patients.  It is easy to become discouraged.  We may fluctuate between impatience with frustrating cries of “WHEN Lord!” versus murmuring in apathy. “Whatever, Lord.”

Paul, the writer to the believers in Thessalonica, knew they needed more than just a reminder, they needed to have hope. Thus, he encouraged them to support one another and to maintain vigilance.

Let’s takes Paul’s advice. As we anticipate and wait for Jesus to return, we can pray and inspire our fellow believers to stay steadfast, while at the same time hasten the Lord to “come” quickly (Revelation 22:17, 20)

We wait for the happy fulfillment of our hope in the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. (Titus 2:13)

p.s. For those who lost loved ones in the Malaysian Flight MH17, please know our hearts are broken at your loss and our prayers fill the Lord’s chamber with tears and sadness.